Only the necessities; only $20.00.
Cat food, hairspray, milk.
Cat food, hairspray, milk.
Almond or oat,
Oat or Soy,
Soy or…
2% it is.
But, only a half gallon:
“Only take that which you need.”
My grandpa would be proud.
I should call him sometime this week.
His age is starting to show, and he needs to know that I think of him often.
He needs to know that I could never forget about him.
He used to put whole milk in his coffee,
whole milk and half a bag of sugar.
Well, not really half a bag…
just enough to warrant criticism from my grandma.
She meant well by it.
He never took her too seriously.
He deserves to know that he will always be loved-
that I will always love him-
no matter which side of Heaven he calls home.
I put the 2% back.
Whole milk it is.
But, only half a gallon.
My grandpa is a good man.
Okay.
What’s next?
Cat food, hairspray, milk.
Cat food, hairspray, milk.
Oh my gosh, is that Thomas?
Hey! Thoma…wait…
That’s not Thomas.
Thomas lives in Wisconsin.
Last time we talked, he seemed to be doing better.
He’s working at a grocery store, but he could do so much more.
It’s hard to watch one of the smartest people you know become crushed by the burden of learning; to see joy turned to torture and never to joy again.
College wasn’t kind to him.
At least, not in the way he needed it to be.
College was hard for me, too.
But I’ve recovered.
I can still see the good.
Most days…
Some days, all I see is a wall of Oreos.
S’mores. Doublestuffed. Lemon. Mint.
Sugar stuffed sugar in a bright blue package to solve the world’s problems.
It’s easier to satisfy a sweet tooth than it is to acknowledge a loss;
but, I’ve gotten better at managing myself.
Immediate gratification is never the answer.
“Suffering produces perseverance;
perseverance, character;
and character, hope.”
Verse 3
Verse 4
Romans 5
I hope that someday Thomas is able to find the hope he left
in that pale lecture hall.
I know it’s still there.
I know because I saw it when I went for mine;
waiting like a half-full Nalgene
under a broken chair.
I don’t need Oreos.
They aren’t on the list:
Cat food, hairspray, milk.
Cat food, hairspray, milk.
Cat food, hairspray
Oh, that’s a bad idea.
That’s a bad call.
If Oreos won’t solve my problems,
then that would make them much worse.
I have to work tomorrow.
It’s already late, and
I have no one to share it with.
Would I really drink a whole bottle alone?
Alone.
There are no other options.
It’s just me right now.
It’s just hard to breathe right now.
Am I really going to cry?
Here?
No.
Focus.
Only the necessities; only $20.00.
Cat food, hairspray, milk.
It’s just my allergies.
It’s just the dust.
I’m fine, I just have to keep moving.
Beef and Salmon Savory Delights?
Good enough.
Wait.
Did someone call my name?
Hannah?
What is she doing?
It couldn’t be…
If that was Hannah,
she would have greeted me with a kiss on the cheek
and a bear-sized hug.
She would squeeze me tight,
wouldn’t have let up.
She would know that something’s wrong.
She’d ask. I’d lie.
She’d see straight through;
she’d shake me and sigh;
she’d insist I tell the truth.
I would.
I would tell her about the pregnancy.
And, from the quiver in my voice, she would know about the loss.
6 weeks and 3 days.
I met my baby with hands covered in blood.
Hannah would cry for me;
I cannot afford the tears.
Only $20.00; only the necessities.
Cat food, hairspray, milk.
Cat food, hairspray, milk.
Cat food.
Hairspray.
Milk.
Stop!
Not now!
No!
I can’t do this here…
I must retain my sense of control and decency.
I’m an adult for Pete’s sake…
…so, why do I love so easily? Why do I let people in?
How is it that strangers can become loved ones, and loved ones strangers again?
Do I haunt the lives of those I’ve loved? Do they remember I exist?
Do they see me in the unknown? Would they recognize me in the mist?
Is it a two-way street, memory?
Can you remember those you have yet to meet?
Love those you don’t know?
Has the future been made permanent already?
Is it kept with the storehouses of snow?
Or, do we only see the ghosts of love lost?
Could we be haunted by a love that’s yet to come, yet to be said?
Does love leak out of that perfect place,
where there’s wine and butter
and freshly baked bread
…to meet us where we are?
Where we are.
Where we are.
Where am I?
On one side there’s blended carrots, potatoes, and peas.
There’s newborn size diapers, bibs, blankets, and a colorful set of keys.
On the other there’s whiskey, bourbon, beer, and grog.
There’s sleepless nights. There’s anger. There’s endless, unfeeling fog.
In the middle stands a phantom,
with my husband’s blue eyes
and my mousy brown hair,
wearing little, denim overalls
with embroidered teddy bears.
I never meant to hurt you.
I know.
Will you be home for dinner?
I’ll be a little late.
I’ll save you a seat.
Be good.
I will.
Promise?
Promise.
Tears flood my vision;
the stranger slowly fades.
“What has been is what will be,
and what has been done
will be done.”
I didn’t know that angels
could stand at
two foot,
one…
No.
Focus.
I just need to find hairspray.
Hairspray, and I’ll go.
High hold?
High shine?
Humidity-resistant?
Instant Freeze?
Inhale slowly.
Exhale.
Take it easy.
Relax.
Just breathe.
None of this matters.
I grab some Diet Coke, as I go.
I scan my items.
I pay.
I leave.
I feel like I’m forgetting something.
Only the necessities; only $20.00.
Cat food, hairspray, milk.
Cat food, hairspray, milk
Cat food, hairspray, milk..
Something’s missing?
What is it?
What is it?
Tag: ORIGINAL
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Only the Necessities
-
March 5, 2026
I wish I had something witty to say, but I don’t.
It’s time to work.
-
A Little Walk with Many Flowers
To the dear Mark Potter and Henrik Soderstrom,
I apologize for my very delayed response. I have been meaning to write to you both for quite some time…
Back in October, we met for a delightful lunchtime conversation. We had talked about the sort of intellectual game-playing that takes place in the secular art world, and (more importantly) the fact that Christians are called to be set apart from worldly patterns. Most of our conversation, then, was about what it might look like for a Christian Artist to engage with a secular landscape without compromising the standard of love that Jesus set forth. After I left lunch, I made a point to write down one “actionable” curiosity for me to pursue. This was that curiosity:
What does it mean to pursue others by way of parable within the arts?
After much thought and prayer, I think I have some sort of development…
See, in the Gospel of Mark, after His baptism and temptation in the wilderness, Jesus comes forth and says, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.” (Mark 1:15) From the very start, Jesus was as honest and open as possible. He was never trying to hide.
It’s puzzling, then, to consider why so many of Jesus’ teachings exist in the form of parables. As I have prayed about this, I have begun to wonder if the effectiveness of Jesus’ parables is somehow related to the Fall of Man.
When Eve was deceived, it was because she was seeking some secret thing; some sort of awakening or information that God wanted to keep from humanity.
But it made me wonder about the nature of parables… As finite human beings, we aren’t always satisfied with the simple truths. We like the idea that the universe is filled with wondrous secrets for us to find. In many ways, then, when Jesus appeals to humans by way of parable, He is sort of allowing us to indulge that impulse. Jesus’ parables allow us to “discover” the Gospel “on our own.”
And this is a grand illusion. Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega. There is not a grain of sand He does not know. He knows what has been, is, and what will come to be. The “trick” of Jesus’ parables is that there is no trick at all. The Gospel is simple. It does not withhold. It is truly amazing to think that Jesus chose to teach us in such a way that we might feel empowered by our “discovery” of His Truth.
So, now my question has changed. Instead of trying to figure out how a Christian artist might be able to “play the game” of the secular art world… I have been praying about the following:
How can I make art that shares the Gospel in a “discoverable” way?
In some ways, I feel like I am back at square one. But this little walk has been wonderful, and there have been many flowers along its path.
I would love to hear your thoughts,
Haley
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